Calling all Stargate fans! (might as well give this a try)

[cirque]

Fandom: Stargate: Universe/general Stargate
Characters/Pairings: Eli Wallace, Daniel Jackson, Chloe Armstrong
Rating & Warnings: genfic, no ships, set after the final ep of SGU (so, spoilers!!)
Notes: Just a short piece for smallfandomfest over on LJ. I never beta my work because hardly anyone writes for my fandoms, but I figure it's worth a try, right? This particular fic is SGU and Eli-centric, but it's very in time with the SG franchise as a whole. Daniel appears quite a lot in this fic, as a hallucination. You don't need to know the fandom, although that would be lovely :)

I basically would like someone to look for:

a) language (I'm British, and I've tried to use Americanisms where I know them, but I'm worried I've missed something)
b) general story flow
c) science (or lack of) and general trueness to the Stargate canon (I'm pretty terrible at science, and I want to be sure that the things Daniel is saying are Real Science Things that he might say/do)

Thanks in advance! :D